Congratulations...You're Not Helping Anyone

Families and students of my wealthy New England town often slap a college sticker on the rear-window of their automobile as soon as an attendance letter is mailed back to the admissions office. Riding high with revered names plastered to their windows, far too many proud parents and relieved seniors, in their happiness or pride, unknowingly cause feelings of inferiority and contribute to the escalating problem of competition notoriously involved in the town’s college process. What is it they believe the name of a college will engender when rudely shoved into the eyesight of a following driver? Surely a parent’s intention is not to say, “Look at what my child did, you anonymous driver stuck behind me in traffic! She may be attending Princeton on her own merit and intelligence, or she may have a sub-normal IQ and was offered admission solely to lead the varsity Tiddlywinks team—but that does not matter, and you will never know the circumstances. All that matters is that my child is better than yours. Which means, of course, that I am better than you. It was nice having you on my tailpipe.” If a parent was simply proud of his or her child’s accomplishment and understandably enjoyed, after years of difficult parenting and devotion, hearing other’s remarks of admiration, then college stickers would have no use. The social circle of parents in my town is so tightly wound and competitive that word travels like wildfire and compliments would undoubtedly be abundant.

The same goes for seniors. Where you’re headed next year is no secret, and if you’re going to college, then congratulations: you will be getting a fantastic education, no matter where you are, and it’s almost refreshing to see a sticker representing an institution not nearly as renowned as the “top schools.” But if that’s all it is, pure proud representation, then let’s dispose of the anonymity. Your friends are happy for you, your parents are happy for you, and your teachers are happy for you, too. It’s the people who know and care about you that matter. No stranger is going to get out of his car at a red light, knock on your window, and ask to shake your hand. Wear your college gear around your friends and celebrate your future, but take a second to think about what you may be inadvertently doing. These stickers can logically do nothing but cut-down and hurt others, endorse competition and rivalry, and sometimes promote the idea to aspiring children that anything short of the Ivy League and its peers is a failure in the eyes of the public.

Parents and students: you’re happy; you’re on a high after so many years. So am I. It’s understandable to have placed a sticker on your car in a bout of happiness and pride. Now, if you’ve got one on a car, do the right thing and remove it. At least part of you probably dislikes the competition of the college admissions process and, most importantly, no hard-working child or proud parent deserves to be subject to even fleeting feelings of inferiority.